Q - Z

• [rabid squirrel]
  I am away from the computer for now.  Maybe I have gone to use the restroom, or maybe I'm taking an extended break outside to socialize with the rabid squirrels.  Either way, I...AHHH!  No, bad squirrels, bad squirrels!!
  [contributed by Leland]
  
  
• [ramble]
  i'll be back when i am back so talk to you then because
  i can't talk when i am when i am not here. so when i get
  back here i can talk but until then i won't be here, so
  i couldn't talk, or type for that matter, at least to
  you, unless there which is where i am has a computer.
  but that's beside the point because i am talking
  about now being here and here is not there, so it
  wouldn't be possible to talk from here cause i would be
  there and not here.. so i could talk to you from there but
  it wouldn't be here unless i appear to be there and it
  might become here, but that is impossible because they
  would have to be in different places or else they wouldn't
  be able to be different spots, so there couldn't be here or
  the entire space time thing would be wrong and do you
  understand that i can't talk?
  [contributed by xipho86@ attbi.com]
  
  
• [reading]
  While I'm gone, I have provided some interesting reading for you...
  
  Classmates.com: Have you lost interest in your old high school friends? Do you never want to see them again? Well don't sign up here!
  
  KaZaA: Have you ever stolen music? Well if you haven't and claim not to be when using this, you suck!
  
  the Marines: We're the few, and we want to stay that way, so our catchy theme won't get messed! Leave!
  
  AOL: So slow to use, no wonder you don't buy it. I wonder why they don't make AOL for modem's yet?
  
  the Stock Market: Watch our shares go up, and your shares go down!
  [contributed by katykelsmite971@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [recovery]
  When I recover from idleness, I'll tell you!
  [contributed by fearfuldreams@ aol.com]
  
  
• [robot]
  Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?
  [..I'll be back when the evil robots have stopped looking for me.]
  
  

  ---

• [scream]
  If you want to hear me screaming in agonizing pain, press 1.
  If you want to hear the demonic creature's terrifying maniacal laughter, press 2.
  If you want to hear the demonic creatures munching on my dead flesh, press 3.
  Other wise please hold the IM.
  [contributed by misty_020@hotmail.com]
  
  
• [see]
  If you can physically see me at this moment, then there's no need for you to leave a message, due to the fact that you're not at your computer and you're standing right in front of me.
  [contributed by unseen_shadows@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [sexy message]
  "Herro, this is Dr.Ho. If you leave message, I call back soon. If you leave sexy message, I call back sooner!"
  [contributed by azuremyst@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [shoes]
  I'm not in right now. Someone stole my shoes. Feel free to leave a message... or better yet, send me new shoes.
  [contributed by redassassinuk7@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [shower]
  I'm in the shower.... and yes [insert preferred gender], I am naked... ::mew::
  [contributed by Elizabeth]
  
  
• [shrimp-man]
  Beware when a man dressed as a huge shrimp abandons his post at the opening of a seafood restaurant, steals an experimental hovercraft, and crashes it into your car. Trust me, the insurance company will refuse to pay a cent.
  [contributed by gracieh@ mags.net]
  
  
• [skyscraper]
  And after the baby got under the wheel, I began to wonder -- why are all these skyscrapers staring at me?  Is this just a megalomaniac's form of paranoia or is the cat really breathing powdered marijuana down my neck?  But you know...it gets that way sometimes.
  [contributed by unseen_shadows@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [song]
  While i'm away, you will be subjected to the song of the moment.

  I'm your only friend,
  I'm not your only friend,
  but I'm a little glowing friend,
  but really i'm not actually your friend,
  but i am..

  Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
  who watches over you.
  Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
  [Song by They Might Be Giants]
  
  

• [speed]
  Ha!  You JUST missed me!  Gotta be quicker than that!!
  [contributed by fearfuldreams@ aol.com]
  
  
• [spiders]
  I'm not here. I'm writing poetry with the spiders that live in my sock
  drawer. *nodnod* Spiders are good at haiku...
  [contributed by drama_queen2357@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [stuff]
  I'm out doing stuff right now.  I would tell you what this "stuff" is, but then it wouldn't be a surprise.  All I can say is that it doesn't have anything to do with nuclear weapons, and the hamsters are strictly for entertainment purposes.  Leeme message.
  [contributed by angelyssa@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [summer]
  I don't quite know what you did last summer, but I have a pretty good idea, and when your father gets home we're going to have a nice long talk.
  [contributed by phillygdj@ hotmail.com]
  
  

  ---

• [tag]
  Hello and welcome to our game of Away Message Tag!!
  -cheer-
  If you'd like to join the game, leave a message and we'll try to reach you when you're not around.
  
  
• [terror]
  Hi. I am running in terror at the moment, being chased down by evil, horrifying demonic creatures. Who are at this time, tearing, ripping and biting at my flesh. I will get back to you as soon as my dead, mangled, bloddy carcass can get back to the computer.
  [contributed by misty_020@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [thesaurus]
  I'm pooped, tired, bushed, beat, run-down, exhausted, sleepy, weary, drowsy lethargic snoozing, dozy, worn-out, drained, dead-beat, dog-tired, somnolent, fatigued... hey, my thesaurus works!!
  [contributed by garbagefan_03@ yahoo.com]
  
  
• [toga]
  Have you ever worn a toga? I haven't. But it seems like fun. I have some friends who wore togas to their Latin class. I was going to do that, but I take French, and togas aren't French. You know, toga is really a funny word... toga toga toga...
  [contributed by drama_queen2357@ hotmail.com]
  
  
• [twinkle twinkle]
  Twinkle twinkle little star,
  bet you're wondering where we are.
  Where I am now is not your concern,
  So leave me a message for when I return,
  And if you can make your message rhyme,
  I'm get back to you in half the time!
  [contributed by JTIJTTQKTS@ cs.com]
  
  

  ---

• [voices]
  NOOO!!! THE VOICES!!!! *looks up* oh, it's you...
  [contributed by ryo_ohki_meowmeow@ yahoo.com]
  
  

  ---

• [wal-mart]
  I'm still online. yep. ...But actually I'm at Wal-Mart. It's funny how I can do that.
  To learn the secrets of omnipresence, press 2.
  To leave a message.. leave a message.
  
  
• [wall]
  I didnt know running into the wall would hurt as much as it did. But here I am, laying in a pile of my own blood in a coma, hoping that my faithful penguin sends for help. Last time this happened the penguin just called me a pussy, took my shoes, and went to see "The Mask." To this day I still dont know if he liked it, and whenever I ask he just calls me a slut and throws ice cubes at me.
  [contributed by carrotsarebad4u@yahoo.com]
  
  
• [water tank]
  Sorry, I can't answer at the moment.  The water tank has exploded again and I need to find 50 towels as fast I can.  Please wait an hour or so.
  [contributed by Leland]
  
  
• [white coats]
  I'm hideing from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee!
  [contributed by jmlips@ rochester.rr.com]
  
  
• [wizard]
  I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.
  [contributed by blinksalterego@ hotmail.com]
  
  

  ---

• [you get it for free?]
  I'm giving away free sex to the person that leaves the 9th message, and
  guess what? %n, you've won! Just call [insert phone number here] to receive
  your FREE SEX!
  [contributed by Geno]
  
  
• [you've reached]
  Hi you've reached my brain. I can't answer at the moment because I'm doing something else. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message after the beep, and i'll get back to you as soon as i can. Thanks! ..........
  .................................
  ...............Beep!
  [contributed by bratcat4u2luv]

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