[afk]
I am AFK atm, BRB and some other acronyms...
[contributed by malikye@ earthlink.net]
[al]
"I'd never been on an airplane before, and I gotta tell ya it was great. Except I had
to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor. The little kid in
back of me kept throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted
peanuts, and the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore, and.. oh yeah, three of the
airplane engines burned out, and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the
plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died.." [Al Yankovic - Albuquerque]
[animal]
I am currently shaving my animal crackers with a pair of fingernail clippers.
Please take a number, and I will cut your hair accordingly. And if you DON'T want the mo-hawk
special, please press ¬»ó on your keyboard now.
[amish]
You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have
computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from
your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
[contributed by btfulcreature666 @ lycos.com]
[annoying]
I love ice cream. Can you eat? I can eat! Can you sing really loud? No? OK!
Watch me! LALAALALALALA!! Keys are funny. Are they metal for a reason? I wanna
play doe key. That would rule. I can be so annoying that your head will implode.
Implode is a funny word. Did you know that..um..I forgot! Oh yeah! Shnapple is a
funny word too! Is shnapple even a word? Maybe. Gorgonzola cheese is good. Most
cheese is good, too. I have 3 notebooks. The first one has Zim on it! The second
has pretty butterflies! The third is just blue! Hey!! Blue is a funny word too!
Blue blue blue!!!! The sky is blue. I asked my dad why the sky was blue, and he
answered me, but I forgot what he said. Why do hands have ten fingers? I want
fourteen fingers! I could type faster. But that wont help you very much, because
I'm not here, which is why I wrote all that!
[contributed by audrey89 @ aol.com]
[anything]
I'm not here. I don't know where I am or what I'm doing. I could be sleeping, I
could be outside playing basketball, I could be doing anything. But I assure you
I'll most likely return, and when I do I'll get back to you.
[contributed by sylentraven@ juno.com]
[anywayz]
I know you're all wondering where in the world I could be. Well, I'm not
in France, Germany, England, Alaska, Canada, or Hawaii... So I could be anywhere
else. If you want to talk to me, you can either go on a trip that could
possibly kill you :-) Or you can wait until I find my way back.
[contributed by widdledvlprincess@ msn.com]
[asylum]
Hello from the Community of the Insane Asylum!
We are sorry to announce that the
occupant of this screen name is not here right now. They are currently rocking
to-and-fro in a straight jacket, in a padded room. Please leave a message and
they will get back to you as soon as they have regained sanity. Which may take
quite a while, but we hope that you care enough about them to wait.
[contributed by simonmimon@aol.com]
[attention]
Just because I have a short attention span-...
(I'm having a short attention
span crisis. If I'm not back in five minutes...wait longer.)
[contributed by tooksetuk@ yahoo.com]
[avoiding someone]
I'm actually at my computer, but I'm trying to
avoid someone. So leave a message and if I don't IM you back, it's probably you.
Have a nice day.
[contributed by Roger]
[away]
Alright people. Move along. No funny away message here. [Taken from my friend Josh; he had a history of funny away messages.]
[baking]
I seem to be in a baking frenzy.
I'll be back in 30 to 35 minutes on 375º in the center of the oven.
[contributed by garbagefan_03@ yahoo.com]
[booga]
Hi! This is my away message. You can:
a.) Leave a message,
b.) write me an e-mail, or
c.) rip off all your clothes and run around the block naked yelling "BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA."
While this may not help you get a message to me any sooner, you will quickly meet some very nice,
understanding people in white coats who will be happy to listen to you.
[boom] BOOM!
Yes, folks you guessed it, I'm finally
gone! ::cheer:: So if you don't mind I'm going to vacuum myself up and try
to put myself back together. Just hold on for a while. Okay?
Okay.
::awe::
[contributed by simonmimon@aol.com]
[bored to sleep]
I'm probably asleep right now. I'm very tired. I was up all night trying to
round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines
on curved roads. Leave me a message and I'll call you when I wake up.
[contributed by Bob]
[bunny slippers]
I'm sorry I can't come to the computer right now, please leave a
message..thanks! *beep* HELP! THE EVIL PINK BUNNIE SLIPPERS ARE
ATTACKING!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *gun shot* I think I got one, I think
I-- *beep*
[contributed by Schmobbit the Hobbit]
[button]
I will be right back as soon as I find out what this button- ::KABOOM::
[contributed by Moldycheeze13 @ aol.com]
[canned poodle]
Hello...my name is Bob, and I am going to take over the world! Muahahahahha!
*hack cough* Anyway...In order to do this I will need... a can of tuna, a
toothbrush, and a lot of talking poodles. I'm sure you're wondering how these
help my plan...to tell you the truth...I have no idea.. WAIT! No..was it a can
of poodles, a fish, and a lot of talking toothbrushes? ... Uh-oh...hehe...i
better go get those items...Where the heck do you find talking toothbrushes and
canned poodle? *sigh*
[contributed by Schmobbit the Hobbit]
[cellphone]
I'm gone, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone.
[contributed by twisted_elation@ yahoo.com]
[cheetos]
Why do people call Cheetos 'Cheetos'? I mean, I know they're cheesy and all, but their mascot
really looks more like a leopard to me...and if it looks like a leopard they
shouldn't try to make people think it's a cheetah. Now, they COULD call it
'Leotos'...but then they couldn't use cheese on them... What's a food with 'Leo'
or something similar in it? ...Lemons...That could work...Lemon flavored crunchy
things... Yuck...
[contributed by Katt]
[circle room]
I'm afk taking a shower. Due to popular request, I'm removing the 'because I
Stink' comment from this AFK message. *nods frantically, then blinks and
heads back to the corner of his circular room... or... at least tries to..*
[contributed by lupusshearheart@ yahoo.com]
[collector]
Shhhh.. I've just seen a rare person in the back garden. It looks like a
red haired 50 year-old bank manager from greece. If you want to help me
catch him, get here quick.
[contributed by redassassinuk7@ hotmail.com]
[combustion]
Hello, I have just spontaneously combusted. So right now I am running around in
pain, screaming and trying to get into a water source. If you would like to
come down to my house and help me please stop looking at this and get do...
oh too late I'm dead...
[contributed by Nunzio]
[corner]
If you need something to do while you wait
for me to return, just stand in the corner of your circular room. That's what
I'm doing.
[contributed by suzystorz @ hotmail.com]
[cow-tipping]
Gone cow tipping. Be back soon.. I think..
[contributed by Ariana]
[crazy]
If someone says I'm crazy,
Then that makes me crazy.
But if I say I'm crazy,
Am I still crazy?
[contributed by Kleptomaniac Can Opener]
[crazy convo]
He was all "Nah...my pants never get washed so mine is a darker." Then I was all
"u mean u don't wash your clothes" and then he said "well...do u think a boy
that gets 2 pierogies and dinner gets his clothes washed too? now c'mon that is
asking way to much"
[contributed by Ziggy]
[combusted]
i'm sorry but i just spontantiously combusted. But not to worry, just as
soon as i re-collect my vital organs and put out the fire i'll be right
back. :-)"
[contributed by gracieh@ mags.net]
[cooking oil]
I am busy spraying the street
in front of my house with cooking oil... I'll be back after the first car drives
by!
[contributed by wackykats12@ aol.com]
[dead]
I'm not here.
If I'm not back by %t, I'm probably dead.
[contributed by Elizabeth]
[death]
I'm sorry but I have died. I will try to reach you as soon as I have been
reincarnated.
[contributed by Capt. Daniel Turn]
[decimals]
.3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333...
Once you start, you can't stop.
Just say NO to repeating decimals.
[contributed by drama_queen2357@ hotmail.com]
[deer season]
it's deer season and i'm in the woods dressed as a
deer....i'll be back soon!
[contributed by wackycats12@ aol.com]
[demonic]
Performing demonic rituals. Be right back!
[contributed by Ziggy]
[diet food]
Being on a diet is no fun. I think the plastic container would be better-tasting
than this sucky foo- ooh! It is! *crunch*
[contributed by Amy]
[doing homework]
If you were my homework, I'd be doing you right now.
[contributed by weezerchick06@ comcast.net]
[donuts]
::sings to the theme of I Love Lucy:: I love donuts and they love me...la la la
lala So yummy la la la la la la la....la la lalalala lalala la la lalalala
laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha Vash is so cool...JELLY FILLED DONUTS! ::dies::
[contributed by Elizabeth]
[dragon]
A large cement dragon appears to be following me everywhere, although I
never actually see it move. Don't you just hate that?
[contributed by gracieh@ mags.net]
