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  • [eating]
    Eating. Wow. Food. -munchmunch-
    [contributed by sylentraven@ juno.com]

  • [error]
    Error #104: The user has gone into away mode.
    An error has occured in the user's status and they are no longer responding.
    If you experience this problem often maybe you're talking to the wrong people.

    Press any key to continue.
    [contributed by jedixeus@ hotmail.com]

  • [error2]
    Error #6676556.25: Reality.sys corrupted
    Universe Reset. Reboot (y/n)?
    [contributed by iwag64@ aol.com]

  • [fridge]
    Hi! Angel's away messages are broken. This is her refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

  • [funny farm]
    they're taking me to the funny farm, they're taking me to the funny farm, they're taking me to the funny farm, they're taking me to the funny farm, they're taking me to the funny farm, they're taking me to the funny farm, they're taking me to the funny farm, the funny farm! the funny farm! NNNoooo don't let them take me! oh thats a pretty little stait jacket they have! i hope i get the padded room!
    [contributed by srider@ mcg.net]

  • [game show]
    Hey everyone and welcome to "The GAME show." Today our first contestant is Martha...Martha, why are you here?

    b'cuz I have no...WOW lookie everyone I'm on TV!!!!
    [contributed by Trina]

  • [gamer]
    hello, %n. my brain is currently being destroyed by evil beings from the nth dimension. But to people like you, it looks like I'm playing online games. Now be patient while I unravel my hair from the CD drive...
    [contributed by ryo_ohki_meowmeow@ yahoo.com]

  • [giraffe]
    I'm trapped down a well with a giraffe and a pineapple. We'll talk later...
    [contributed by dragonsabbat@ aol.com]

  • [gummy bears]
    A B C D E F G
    gummy bears are chasing me,
    one is red, one is blue,
    the yellow just ate my shoe.
    [contributed by wackykats12@ aol.com]

  • [harry potter]
    * [ insert screename here ] sneakes away from the camp* hehe stupid Frodo can't even protect the ring in his sleep *runs stealth-like through the underbrush and sees a bright light* hmm?................................................................. Harry Potter??!! What the hell are you doing here?!!!! Harry: WHOOPS!!!!! WRONG FORBIDDEN FOREST!
    [contributed by moongrl@ tampabay.rr.com]

  • [headbashing]
    I'm intermittently pounding my head into a brick wall and screaming. Leave a message and I'll eventually find my way back.

  • [homework]
    oh yeah, college, yet another extension of the educational system to expand and limit my views on life. Either way, I'm doing homework right now, so I'm sorry if you wanted to talk...so did i.
    [contributed by Lazarustears@ yahoo.com]

  • [hostage]
    You've reached the hostage hotline. Please leave the amount of money that you are willing to pay for your selected hostage to be released. We apologize for any inconvenience.
    [contributed by redassassinuk7@ hotmail.com]

  • [if]
    If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am away, you should get a message saying: If I am aw...

    Whoops...I'm away
    [contributed by zidanex13@ aol.com]

  • [imaginary]
    We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary screen name. Please rotate your computer 90 degrees and try typing again.

  • [ignore]
    Hello! You have reached the residence of [insert name here] and we're too busy avoiding bill collectors to pick up the phone. Please leave your message so we can ignore it anyways.
    [contributed by azuremyst@ hotmail.com]

  • [internet]
    I'm somewhere lost in the dimensions of the internet. I don't quite know when my mind will come back to my body. But it may take quite a while.
    [contributed by Ariana]

  • [jesus]
    Remember JESUS LOVES YOU... Everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
    [contributed by run_w_scissors14@ hotmail.com]

  • [keyboard]
    Sleep is good...I'm so tired i could fall asleep on this very keybjhfgbghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    [contributed by gracieh@ mags.net]

  • [labyrinth]
    I'm beginning construction of a labyrinth. Everybody loves a labyrinth.
    [contributed by gracieh@ mags.net]

  • [line]
    There is a fine line in the human being that separates one half of a person from the other. Without its existence, life as we know it could never have existed. It is a space that allows out only what is taken in. It is a void that must remain open and free, lest an emergency descend upon us. Though it is often the cause of many struggles, we must learn to appreciate it, for without our butt cracks, we are nothing.
    [contributed by swingpraise@ yahoo.com]

  • [lobsters]
    It was once said, and I quote, 'Do not use hot wax to soothe enraged lobsters'.  Well, seeing that I lack the needed intelligence to fathom the literal message of this, I seem to be in a bit of a situation here.  I'll get back you when they get these things off and treat the massive blood loss. Bye bye.
    [contributed by fearfuldreams@ aol.com]

  • [looking]
    I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait here.

  • [lost]
    I am not here right now and regret to say that due to unforseen circumstances, later has been canceled.
    [contributed by Wes]

  • [loveline]
    Welcome to Love Line!..
    To be loved like the flower loves the rain, press 1.
    To be loved by three naked women in a bowl of lime jell-o, press 2.

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