Christmas Bytchfest

Ahh, the inappropriate necessities that coil around life. The whole Real Christmas Tree / Fake Christmas Tree debate in a friend's recent ramble got me thinking why we even need a Christmas Tree at all.. And although that was hardly the message I think he was trying to bring across in his berations, I think I'll dwell on it for awhile, because I'm in a bitchy mood.

I recently had a debate with my mother-in-law about the necessity of a Christmas Tree; and one of the arguments she brought up was "Do you want Jubilee growing up without having a Christmas Tree?"

Personally? You're asking my opinion? Sure. Why not. It will teach her not to chop down nature for her own personal enjoyment. It will make her birthday more special, since she was born the day before Christmas. Do I honestly want my child's birthday being diluted for some Hallmark holiday?

Christmas, in it's historical origins, was perfectly fine. The "Gift of Giving" wasn't supposed to turn into everyone feeling obligated to buy everyone else gifts on a certain day. In fact, horror of horrors, maybe we shouldn't just have that "Gift of Giving" around Christmas?? They like to call it the "Season of Giving.." Does that mean that the other three seasons, we can be greedy and selfish and uncaring? What kind of shallow, hypocritical, unfair culture do we live in, where we only have to think about other people for one day a year?

And we symbolize that Gift Giving Day with a tree. Why in God's name, if we were so caring and humane, would we kill a tree to celebrate it? "Let's go cut down the yearly tree and hoist it up and put all sorts of knick-knacks on it to celebrate how giving we feel!"

And not only do we uphold this one Gift Giving Day as the most sacred day of the year [even though Jesus was probably born some time in June or July, but let's forget logic, Christmas isn't about Jesus anyway, it's about presents], but we take the day off our normal chores to force ourselves into three or four family reunions before the day ends, with people we A.) have never seen or hardly ever see, B.) don't really care about, and C.) bought presents for all of them [that they don't really need or aren't really useful in any sense], just to stave off feeling guilty in case they bought us a present.

And then, at the very end of this almighty Gift Giving Day, we get to say "Phew. I'm glad that's over. Now I don't have to see/ call/ write/ care about those people for another three-hundred and sixty-four days." But we can feel good about ourselves, because we forced ourselves to be polite and nice and caring for that one day.

What the hell is so great about this holiday??? I don't get it. I don't understand. Tradition be damned, I'm not going to chop up a poor, defenseless tree and hang up ornaments on it as a symbol of my Gift Giving Spirit. I don't have to wrap presents up and stuff them under the boughs of that tree to prove I love people enough to spend 10 or 15 bucks on them every year. If they don't know I care about them, if I haven't shown them enough that I care about them, then I'm not much of a human being anyway.

Christmas, in its wonderful and traditional symbolism of celebrating Christ as a religious holiday, was well and good. In Mexico, they would bring their gifts to the Church, and offer them to Jesus [good God how barbaric and uncultured of them]. Since when did those gifts start going to everyone else? I don't get presents on my brother's birthday, why the hell should I get presents on Jesus' birthday [as ridiculous as it is to have his birthday in December]?

But that didn't make Hallmark and all those Christmas-ornament/ present/ toy companies enough money. So let's make the public feel guilty about not getting everyone related to them by blood/ friendship/ marriage a gift on this one Special Day of the year, because we need more money. Forget about the homeless person sleeping under a bridge on Christmas, or the little girl in an orphanage who just wanted a mommy or daddy, or the thousands of other people who are suffering every single day of the year, not just on this precious Gift Giving Day where they might [miracle of all miracles] have a chance of filling their belly for once. Fuck them. We don't have enough money after getting Tommy a new bicycle, and Mr. B a new watch, and Annie her favorite Barbie Doll, and splurging for ourselves by getting a new car, because hey! It's Christmas! And it's the Season of Giving! To everyone we already care about and give to.