Miscellaneous

1. Those who attain the highest level possible quickly become bored, and can invariably be found showing off to a group of newbies who are all groveling at their feet.

2. Drugs and alcohol do not impair functionality.  In fact, most mystically enhance physical power and/or magickal ability far beyond uninnebriated limits.

3. There is always another mysterious stranger, so if the last few died before choking out the secret location of the dragon's lair, ancient flying machine, demon gate, or whatever, don't sweat it.

4. Any character the player bothers describing as "looks 18" is more likely over two hundred.

5. There is no such thing as an unexpected pregnancy.

6. It's amazing how dragonfear has no effect...

7. Blind assassins can kill anything with their nose. [Who the hell would play a blind assassin, anyway??]

8. One never has eyes or lips or hair; one has oculi or tiers or strands/locks.

9. One never has fingers or a jaw; one has digits or mandibles.

10. Everyone's past is filled with sadness, pain and torture.

11. If your character is forty or older, expect them to die in a week (unless they're immortal).

12. The worst role-player in the world holds one undeniable edge that will always ensure his victory: stupidity.

13. No character ever needs to eat anything. They all have limitless energy, and eat only to set a proper mood for an event.

14. It's all fun and games until someone actually catches the carnivorous man-eating fish...

15. The moment a crime is committed petty or otherwise, anywhere in the globe.. as soon as the criminals step foot on to the street... 'Sirens in the distance' can distinctly be heard over regular city traffic.

16. No matter how long youve been without sleep, resting generally takes between 2-3 minutes tops.

17. In a Slave RP, even a former king of a war civilization can somehow be captured by mere slavers. Once in a slave camp/auction, they will then cease to attempt any sort of escape, and will usually be beaten to a pulp.

18. Seven-year-olds are usually sold into slavery by their father.

19. If someone is not protecting you when you sleep, you will be killed.

20. Despite the fact that any vendor will sell you food of some sort, there is never any readily apparent cows, chickens, goats, etc. or giant fields of wheat, rice, or potatoes.

21. If it's expensive, it's more than likely worthless.

22. If it can only be sold for one gold, you know it's some amazingly elite item that will raise you to near-god status... Either that, or summon a demon who promptly decides - no matter how many other people are around - to try and kill you.

23. No matter how much you run along screaming for help, nobody will hear you.

24. If anybody does hear you and comes to your aid, expect them to suffer some kind of grievious harm while you escape completely unscathed.

25. - This is usually not sleep, but deep meditation, during which the character is, of course, fully aware.

26. There is always someone who speaks in a different language that no one can decipher. But if you can, the player will always say 'You can't know my language, it's dead to all humans and was passed down from my ancestors who were super human beings' (or something like that).

27. Players always name the dumb, stupid fighter Bob. No matter what.

28. No matter what plane you are on, no matter how many alternate dimensions you are flung into, the same currency is accepted all over.

29. No matter what anyone says, the most embarrassing death is to be killed by a flumph.

30. No one really has an original character. Bits and pieces are ALWAYS taken from different places.

31. Everything is so predictable that it has rounded the loop back into unpredictable.

32. To find out just how touchy someone is, tell them that their character is terrible.

33. Obesity is non-existent. 'Husky' is the closest you will ever get to 'fat.'

34. Every group member has an arch foe and/or struggling internal conflict that prevents them from helping the others.

35. There is at least one princess generated for each ragband/travelling group.

36. If said princess is not a part of group she is damsel in distress.

37. If in a marketplace rp the girl in rags is either a poor wretch who needs to feed her starving/sick family or a princess in disguise from local palace.

38. No matter how long your character has been traveling or fighting, they will not have smelly feet, knocked out teeth, or BO, and no matter how deep they were cut, they will not scar.

39. Those characters that do have scars got them from either being lashed as a slave, from their abusive parents/foster parents,  or to get extreme magical powers.

40. Everyone has an ocarina, or a flute.