What Type of Friend Are You?

Forward note: Please do not take this quiz if you can't make fun of yourself. I'm a cynical bitch sometimes.. This quiz is actually pretty nice for the most part, because I was too tired to be cynical. Still. Expect to be insulted at some point or another. I insult myself, so you're no exception.

Edited 06.11.02: I have had numerous [by numerous I mean too many to count] requests from people who want to know how to make their own quiz. In the future, I might be putting up a guide to show you how; but for now, please don't ask me to take the time to explain it to you. You are more than welcome to steal my code if you can figure it out, but I'm not going to break it down and show you how to use it.

1. Your friend had to leave town for the weekend. When he comes back, he has lipstick on his collar. Not his girlfriend's lipstick. You...
fly into an emotional frenzy on his girlfriend's behalf.
don't care, he's your friend.
make lude comments about his girlfriend.
ask him what happened. Maybe there's another explanation..
wait to tell his girlfriend. You wanted to date her anyway...
smirk and say, "That's nothing, you should see what your girlfriend did."
pretend not to notice.

2. Your friend lost his girlfriend because of the collar incident. He decides to kill himself. You...
give him several reasons why he shouldn't do it.
make a crying, drooling mess on his shoulder.
tell him that you'll kill yourself too.
are at the movies with your other friends.
tell your other friends about how suicidal he is.
are courting his girlfriend, since they're not dating anymore.
tell jokes about his ex-girlfriend until he finally cheers up.

3. Well, he finally decides [for whatever reason] not to kill himself. But the next day, he loses his job. You...
probably got him fired.
take him out for drinks and tell him about a few places that are hiring.
feel useless, but quit your job so you can suffer with him.
offer to get drunk with him, your treat.
call your other friends for an update.
... who are we talking about again?
comment about how bad his old job was, anyway, until he feels better.

4. Your friend decides not to look for another job. Instead, he's going to start his own business... as a crime-fighting super hero. You...
try to calmly point out that super- heroes are not in high demand.
offer to be his sidekick! This could be fun.
have formed a little community-support-group for people who have befriended this weirdo.
convince him to be an Eggo Waffle instead.
wouldn't even know.
think about creating an alter-ego arch-villain for him to have fun with.
laugh and tell him about your experience as Spiderman.

5. Life as a super hero is hard. The first night, your friend falls off a balcony and breaks his leg. You...
go visit him at the hospital, and try to tactfully show him it was a bad idea.
wouldn't even know. You don't see him enough.
can't go visit him; they won't let you in the building.
bring him flowers, with a camera imbedded in the pot in case he does something else.
sleep at the hospital in case he needs you.
re-live his trip by falling flat on your face when you walk in the door.
think up ways to annoy and antagonize him, since he can't get up to hurt you.

6. Your friend doesn't give up, though. Eventually, he crosses his DNA with a scorpion- like creature, and gets some super powers. Police hire him on their payroll, and he becomes a superhero! You...
are very happy for him.
are slightly jealous.. But turn your support-group into his fan-group.
are right there beside him, with a matching sidekick-costume.
kid him about the old days when he was so upset about losing his burger-flipping job.
are still talking about your super hero story. Those were the days..
are so happy. You even ask him if he'd like to hang out this Friday.
have already made your mark as his evil arch-nemesis.

7. It's been a terrible week. Villains to the left, villains to the right. The last villain made a death ray to destroy the city, and our super hero is nowhere to be found! You...
go on a city-wide search for him, by yourself.
stagger along the street, crying and wailing his name.
hope he's okay.. and call his friends to see if anyone's seen him.
know exactly where he is, and you'll rescue him! ...Somehow..
are out with your other friends, since he apparently stood you up tonight.
try to cheer up all his worried friends.
crank the lever back to lower him into a vat of acid, all the while revealing your secret plan to take over the world.

8. Your friend somehow escapes death.. but he loses his super powers. You...
are just glad he's alright.
convince him that he looked funny in tights, anyway.
are kind of sad he doesn't want to do the super hero bit anymore, but cast your outfit aside too.
fall back into a support group.
share how you lost your super-hero-ness.
think the whole thing was ridiculous, anyway.
gloat and give up the arch-nemesis routine. ... for now.

9. Losing his job, your friend [after his wonderful service to the city] gets re-hired at the burger-flipping place. While he's at work one day, his house burns down, and his dog dies in the fire. You...
let him stay at your place for awhile.
cry with him.
Reminisce about the dog and the cool times they had at his place.
read about it in the newspaper.
saw the whole thing. FWOOSH.
.. oh... I thought that was a water thrower..
buy him a new dog, like the one before.

10. Your friend goes a little insane and bashes his head into the wall repeatedly. This would probably be because...
you didn't remember his birthday.
he's overcome with grief.
you didn't stop the fire.
you won't stop screaming.
you made fun of his crispy dog.
you told him what happened to his house.
gee.. I don't know.. What could he possibly be upset about? -shifty glance-

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