Pessimism and Optimism

1. It's been a rough day.. I put a shirt on and a button fell off. Picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
2. This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
3. On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy.. but we'll work on it.
4. No one else is listening, until you make a mistake.
5. He who hesitates is probably right.
6. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
7. He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
8. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
9. Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.
10. Everything is possible, except skiing through revolving doors.
11. If Elvis were alive right now, he'd be scratching at the inside of his coffin.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It doesn't matter if you win or lose.. until you lose.
14. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
15. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.
16. I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference.
17. At fifty, a man can be an ass without being an optimist, but never an optimist without being an ass.
18. Optimist: A person who travels on nothing, from nowhere, to happiness.
19. Without fear, there is no courage.
20. I'm not a pessimist. I'm just optimistically challenged.
21. The chance that the bread will land butter-side-down is directly proportional to the price of the carpet.
22. Whenever you make a big buy, it will go on sale the next day.
23. Good morning is an oxymoron.
24. Second place is the first loser.
25. A Pessimist is what an Optimist calls a Realist.