Men, Women and People

  1. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
  2. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  3. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
  4. The way to a man's heart is to saw his breastplate open.
  5. Clones are people two.
  6. Coffee, chocolate, men.. Some things are just better rich.
  7. Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.
  8. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
  9. No doubt exists that all women are crazy. It's just a question of degree.
  10. A real person has two reasons for doing anything: the good reason, and the real reason.
  11. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
  12. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  13. Most people aren't as deep as my toilet bowl.
  14. Real men know the value of duct tape.

Extras: [excerpt from an e-mail sent to me]
- The Truth

  1. The nice men are ugly.
  2. The handsome men are not nice.
  3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
  4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
  5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice, have no money.
  6. The nice, semi-handsome men with money think we are only after their money.
  7. The men without money are after our money.
  8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
  9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice, and have money, are cowards.
  10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice, have some money, and are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.
  11. The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we make the first move.

The Truth About Men [contributed by]

  1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
  2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? Shut the door!
  3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
  4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
  5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
  6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
  7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
  8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
  9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
  10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
  12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.  Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
  13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
  14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
  15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
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