Government and Society

1. Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he would spend two years campaigning and organizing for it should not be trusted with the office.
2. Capitalism can exist in one of two states: Welfare, and Warfare.
3. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.
4. Communism is like prohibition - it's a good idea, but it won't work.
5. If we quit voting, would they all go away?
6. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
7. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
8. An armed society is a polite society.
9. A conservative is a person who lives in a past that never existed.
10. A city is a large community where people are lonely together.
11. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
12. Be different: Conform.
13. Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
14. Being politically correct means always having to say you’re sorry.
15. Laws are like sausages… it’s better not to see them being made.
16. Church: The only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
17. In Capitalism, man exploits man. In Communism, it's exactly the opposite.
18. In Democracy, it's your vote that counts. In Feudalism, it's your count that votes.
19. America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
20. Detroit: where the weak are killed and eaten.
21. Now let's all repeat the non-conformist oath.
22. Why settle for the lesser evil? Cthulhu for president.
23. The president of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing and able to lay down your life for his country.
24. Congress; Contradictory Oppressive Nimrods Greatly Risk Every Social Standpoint.
25. If this were a free country, I'd own it by now.
26. Don't steal. That's the government's job.
27. Popularity is a social disease.