Death

1. Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
4. Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.
5. Over half the world's population die.
   ...At no specific time.
6. I have decided to live forever, or die in the attempt.
7. Death to all fanatics!
8. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
9. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which a person can die.
11. Don't upset me.. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
12. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
13. Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
14. I can't live with death; he's always leaving the toilet seat up.
15. Give me immortality or give me death.
16. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
17. It's not how you die that matters. It's who you take with you.
18. Don't run, you'll just die tired.
19. Why won't you die?!?!
20. Guns don't kill people; death kills people. It's a proven medical fact.
21. He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.
22. It's too early in the morning for suicide.
23. Death, taxes and depression: three things you can always depend on.
24. Death is hereditary.
25. It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. (Terry Pratchett)