Books, TV and Fiction

1. Never moon a werewolf.
2. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
3. Be nice to dragons, for you are crunchy, and go well with ketchup.
4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
5. I hate books. They only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the salesperson where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. Classic: a book which people praise, but don't read.
8. Magic lightning can strike the same place twice.
9. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have trained for years and years can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
10. Some books make me want to go adventuring. Others feel they have saved me the trouble.
11. The crimes we are about to depict have been specially committed for this program.
12. The things I fear may all be imaginary; so what I fear most is my imagination.
13. The torture never stops.
14. There are some strings. They're just not attached.
15. There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
16. Everything on TV is physically impossible.
17. Reality shows tell me what my life would be like if it were run by writers not smart enough to make movies.
18. TV teaches us the big ultimate destroying robot always has an easily found and usable self destruct button.
19. Sure, go ahead, try to hit me. But I must warn you, I am a master of the martial ar…OUCH! Dude, that hurt!
20. Fiction is our own reality.