Flying, Driving, Cars and Planes

  1. There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
  2. Trust the driver - but keep your seatbelt on.
  3. If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.
  4. The tire is only flat on the bottom.
  5. Man who run in front of car get tired.
  6. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  7. Drinking and driving is the biggest cause of vehicle damage in the world. Special effects are a close second.
  8. You can get -anywhere- in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
  9. The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
  10. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.
  11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
  12. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
  13. Into every life, some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.
  14. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
  15. A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense.
  16. Drive carefully; it’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
  17. They couldn't repair my brakes, so they made my horn louder.
  18. My check engine light came on the other day. I popped the hood and looked, and the engine is STILL there! Silly light..
  19. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  20. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
  21. One day, you're going to look back on this... and then plow into a parked car.
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